


Spanish with Massacre

by Ice_Fox



Series: Learn A Language with Superheroes [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Mercs for Money (Marvel)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-07-25 05:03:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16190654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_Fox/pseuds/Ice_Fox
Summary: Massacre tries to teach Spanish to English speakers.





	Spanish with Massacre

**Author's Note:**

> Spanish from Deadpool Unleashed: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9 and 10 and internet sources  
> "Si la audiencia había buscado mi consejo sobre estos asuntos..."  
> Sorry that my Spanish is not going to be accurate at all.

Welcome to this season of... Learn A Language with Superheroes!

This season we have invited a very special guest from the team: the Mercs for Money. He idolises the team leader and made his costume himself. He used to lived in Mexico and was a priest. This season he will be teaching us Spanish. Anyone know who it is yet? IT'S THE WONDERFUL, ONE AND ONLY MASSACRE!!! (*Applause*)

Now, for those who don't know how this works, each season we select one well loved superhero to come out onto this stage here and attempt to teach us their language over all five of the episodes. As you can see, we have a blackboard at the front for our hero to use if they wish. They may choose to teach us phrases or the basics (colours, numbers, family... etc). Next season we will get someone else to see if they can teach us another lesson in 5 weeks. Obviously I apologise if some, such as Massacre this season, speak only their language and you don't actually learn anything. NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, LET US INVITE MASSACRE HIMSELF TO THE STAGE!!! (*more applause*)

"Gracias! Me llamo Massacre pero ya tú lo sabes." 

Well thank you for that Massacre for enlightening us all. (*quiet short laughter*) Now what will you be teaching us today? 

"Español" (*louder laughter which brakes off into applause*)

"¿Perdón? No entiendo. ¿Qué es tan gracioso? No tenía idea de lo que me estaba metiendo. Sin embargo te enseñaré de todos modos. ¡Ah, la humanidad!"

I'm not quite sure what Massacre was saying there about his ‘humid dad’ (*laughter*) or what those multiple questions were about, but I am sure we shall hear lots of Spanish this season. Hopefully, Massacre will teach us some now?

"Por supuesto. He estado tratando de. Bueno pues, voy a enseñar números de español. Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez. ¡Sencillo!"

There we go people: I believe we have just been taught numbers. Everyone get that. Uno, dos, tres... I don’t think I can remember them all. Massacre, care to walk us slowly through them again?

“(*sigh*) Uno... dos... tres... cuatro... cinco... seis... siete... ocho... nueve... diez... ¿Otra vez?”

According to our Spanish translators -who we felt were a necessity to have, our pal here just asked us if we want to here it again. Shall we? (*unidentifiable cacophony of answers*) All right, all right everybody. I think we shall request that Massacre writes them out on the blackboard. Can you do that for us?

“Creo que tu gesto fue hacia la pizarra. Escribiré los números, entonces. (*sound of chalk on blackboard*) ¿Puedes leerlo?”

Massacre, why don't you teach us things like 'yes', 'no' and 'don't know' so we can reply to your questions (if we know what they are!) and also learn more simple Spanish?

"Si pero la audiencia diría "No lo sé!" por lo tanto diré que "No"! ¿Te gusta? ¿No fue inteligente?" (*silence*) "¿No? ¿Si?"

There we go people: "no", "yes", "no", "si". I don't know why he said it questioningly but there we go. What is "I don't know" anyway?

"¿Perdón? Ah, las maravillas de los traductores. NO... LO... SÉ... ¿Entender?"

Well it appears you people in the audience are fast learners; I can hear some of you shouting out "Si!" and "Otra vez!". Or is that just the paid Spanish people we placed out there. Who knows? (*laughter and applause*) Let's see if we will need them next issue as well. (*distant ringing*) I'm afraid people that signals that time is up for this episode. We shall she you next week at the same time. Can we master the language problem better than the Mercs For Money? Find out next time! We shall now say "Adiòs" from the team, "Adiòs" from the audience and...

"um... ¿Adiòs?"

...from Massacre! ADIÒS!


End file.
